Twelve of us women huddled around one member. Some of us started to cry, some of us did Reiki, some of us may have prayed to whichever goddess we like to call on, some of us just laid a hand on her arm or shoulder and whispered, "I hope you heal."
Her cancer had returned & we could all feel her pain.
We did this for 2 minutes.
Two minutes is a long time to sit with someone else's pain & hardship, especially in silence. But as women - this is our element. Nurture, compassion & ruthless support.
There is something so sacred about a group of women getting together and sharing intention. And it always looks a little witchy.
It is powerful. The energy builds. There is something for everyone - no matter 'where you are at.'
The salt bowl intention circles I've been a part of so far have been with surrogates. I have completed 2 surrogate journeys & shortly after the first one, I found this incredible tribe of women and had these profound experiences through Sacred Surrogacy, a company created by Leia Swanberg. She creates & holds retreats for surrogates all across Canada - mixing part group meditation & intention setting, part women's pampering experiences (massage, henna art, making your own essential oil mixes, clitorous education workshops, pregnancy belly photo shoots & more) and part social event where we enjoy drinks, food & connecting with other women through story telling.
This is the key; women telling their stories & speaking their truths. Getting raw.
The stories women tell are how we learn. Where the medical system, our own families, the public education system, the media all fail us - we gather with mothers, daughters, sisters, crones & maidens to find a perspective or solution that has alluded us. Often due to the nuclear family isolation of our culture & shame often surrounding the complexities of our body function, life cycle & spiritual wellness. When women get together in a private space & the attitude is one of permission to open up, we finally have the space & support to get granular. Random discussions will cover everything from fertility, love, sex, healing, desire, trauma, birth, aging, finding strength, parenting, loneliness & all of the things around or inbetween.
What is even more important is the support & role modeling.
For anyone & everyone, it can be very difficult to imagine soemthing you have never seen before. Or even if you imagine it, you may not believe its possible until you have watched someone else blaze that path.
For centuries, humans have lived in tribes or tight knit commuities. Women thrive in this setting. We grow from maiden to mother to crone. We reach to our elders for wisdom & we stand tall to support the generations below us. We pass down our lessons, constantly having to recreate our spaces that serve as our Red Tent.
We share secrets at sleep overs as girls. We share lessons beyond the recipe with our daughters in the kitchen as we cook. We learn traditional skills long forgotten from our grandmothers. We watch & hear how our older sisters or aunts take care of their bodies at family gatherings. We learn new ways to communicate with our partners at home, while sipping wine at books clubs. We share parenting tips on the park bench over coffee while the kids play in the park. We even over hear & join passionate discussions in pub bathrooms or at concerts with total strangers, creating that momentary alliance.
So much of this has been moved online to facebook groups, tiktok & instagram reels. We scour google & reddit in search of advice & help instead of knocking on the door of the 3 other moms who live on our street. We're trying to be women, become women, survive as women - alone. Separate. And it sucks. It's not working.
The beauty of the salt bowl is both for the woman who digs her hands deep & the women who witness. As one woman holds the focus of the room, states her intentions for her life, her year, her loved ones, her soul - a room full of women see her. The rest of us are in the presence of another woman's power. Their power to change. Their power to grow. Their power to ask. Their power to let go. Their power to overcome. Their power to bring forth.
As we all add to the salt bowl - the power increases.
We are able to build a stronger path based on the collective knowledge of our tribe. We are able to have an example set for us. We are able to build confidence through being of service to one another. We are able to uncover our shame & mistakes. We are able to learn new ways to recover. We are able to share resources. We are able to offer help from places we have abundance & request help for places we feel we are lacking. We are able to settle into who we wish we were & want to become. Even if it's only in the presence of thsoe women & only for the time we are with them. It's practice.
I encourage every woman to find her tribe. To find ways to be in the presence of other women. To share & support. It doesn't need to be a salt circle. It can be in the guise of a book club, wine club, coffee connection meet up or female entreprenure club.
Whatever the form - normalize women taking time to share & hear stories. Learn, teach & role model in order to carry forward the power & knowledge of a strong legacy for all of us women.
**If you are interested in becoming a surrogate - reach in & contact me.
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If you would like to start building your Core Resiliency Skills contact Coach Julia today. You will learn how to Thrive beyond your damage, become a Transitional Character, break abuse cycles in your family cycle & build the core resiliency skills most often missed when being raised in a low nurture environment.
Julia is a Holistic Health Consultant, holding a Double Diploma in Community Support & Addictions Work, is a Certified Transformation Specialist, Personal Trainer & Nutrition Coach & a Lvl 2 Reiki Practitioner. She specializes in Trauma Informed Practice & Resiliency Coaching. PrettyAggressiveRecovery@gmail.com
If you are seeking material on parenting beyond your damage, check out the first of my workbook series Parenting Beyond Your Damage on Amazon.ca (and Amazon.com)
You can work through The Pillars of Resiliency while learning to bond with your child to end the intergenerational abuse cycle.
Units 2-6 are do to be released soon.
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