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  • Writer's pictureJulia Gillis

Fighting Just to Be Human

Ever feel like the world is offering you tips and tricks to boss your life, crush your career, be super human.... But you're just FIGHTING to be a human at all? You're not alone.

So many of us raised by toxic or abusive parenting, with adverse childhood experiences and unhealed trauma are struggling just for today. Building a solid future seems impossible as we find ourselves constantly crawling from the rubble. Usually destruction we've created ourselves.

How did we get here and why can't we seem to ever get ahead, keep our head above the waves, the turmoil and this ever raging storm that is our lives?

Did you know it’s more difficult to learn when we are in a fear or pain based mindset?

When I was growing up, I was told “you are so exceptional. You have so much potential!”


But these words were almost always offered in a lecture. They were delivered in scornful tone, after I had done something my mother deemed unacceptable behavioral; when she was mad at me and I was in trouble.


I couldn’t hear her true message, hidden behind the toxic love. Her disappointment in me and her insecurity as a parent, coming out as shame and a cut to her ego - spoke louder than her wish for her daughter to succeed in life and make good choices.


It took me years & years to believe in my self. It took the extra time of carving room to feel safe and secure in the world to learn the lessons of my own potential. I needed to be creating an environment for myself that felt safe, supportive and secure BEFORE I could make a habit of trusting my own potential.


When we are raised with any form of abuse it hinders our ability to learn the life lessons necessary to become strong, resilient individuals. If you find yourself saying “you know better!” When you make mistakes - sure; in theory. You may have had that yelled at you a lot. But in practice, you’ve never truly been able to get enough time in a secure & supportive environment to make the lesson stick through repetition.

Studies have proven that when our brain is in reptile "fight, flight, freeze" (or fawn) we have a more difficult time remembering information & absorbing new information in order to learn. If our brain moves into a state of danger - or if our cortisol & adrenalin are running high, we are less likely to have an evolutionary or adaptive development (less likely to learn a lesson for a better future outcome.)

We cannot heal in the environment that made us sick.

How we are raised is what makes us. It's also what can break us - and leave us broken. If you feel you've been struggling your whole life and can never 'get ahead' - you're probably lacking some fundamental tools and coping strategies that we are meant to develop in our youth.

But it's never too late. You can rewire your brain. You can change. You can live beyond your damage. It is never to late to start building the foundation needed to become a f*cking badass.

If you would like to start building your Core Resiliency Skills contact Coach Julia today. You will learn how to Thrive beyond your damage, become a Transitional Character, break abuse cycles in your family cycle & build the core resiliency skills most often missed when being raised in a low nurture environment.

Julia is a Holistic Health Consultant, holding a Double Diploma in Community Support & Addictions Work, is a Certified Transformation Specialist, Personal Trainer & Nutrition Coach & a Lvl 2 Reiki Practitioner. She specializes in Trauma Informed Practice & Resiliency Coaching.

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